His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
