too bad you live with your parents still
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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