I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
