drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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