Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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