Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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