My nipple is on Facebook.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
