So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
