Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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