this beer tastes like vomit already
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
