Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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