Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
