When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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