hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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