we should wear snuggies to the strip club
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
PANTIES FOUND
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
