i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
