this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
