just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
