i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
