covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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