Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
