Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
