There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
