i barfeds in our rink
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
