dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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