So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Is Oprah even human
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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