There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
