Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
