My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
