I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Boobs are out for the taking
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
