so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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