Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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