she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
