you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
