I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
