talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
