i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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