Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
