well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
