i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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