I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
