Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
