That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
