i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
