did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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