I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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