Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
