she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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