Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
