I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
