Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
