I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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