How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
