Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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