big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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