Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
