Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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