..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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