she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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