Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(705): View more from Ontario

Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence

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(203): View more from Connecticut

New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah

Fav 13 3493 1110
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(951): View more from California

Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka

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(563): View more from Iowa

She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.

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(847): View more from Illinois

i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero

Fav 16 2776 917
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(210): View more from Texas

Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping

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(804): View more from Virginia

Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"

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(616): View more from Michigan

So I just got motorboated by my grandma…

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