so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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