I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
