I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
