I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
