I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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