I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
